Sweet experiment run belle 

Wetin my eye see for ER today, na really wa! As I dey do my round dey see people wey dey ER, na so dem call me say one husband and wife wan see me.

I tell dem to wait make I finish wit d last patient before I go see dem. Wen I come see dem later, dem no be like people wey get emergency at all.

So, I ask dem say weda dem get patient for ER. Dem say No. D husband, Mr D, say him wife get emergency. I look d wife, she look ok. I come surprise, because she no look like person wey get emergency. If no be say I be experienced doctor, I for vex. But I just calm down my mind. Notin wey person no dey see for ER.

So, after I don look d husband and d wife for sometime, and I no see any emergency for dia body, I come tell dem mek dem go out-patient clinic. Dem refuse.

I say, ok na, tell me d emergency so I go quickly know wetin to do.

As Mrs D open her mouth to talk, d kind sound wey come out for her mouth fear me. I first jump back, before I remember say I be doctor. Na im I come balance myself to listen to d sound well. Na dat time I come see say vibration, like d type from phone wey dey ring dey come from inside her belle.

Tamuno eeeh! you swallow phone? I ask Mrs D.

She say No. She come say mek we sit down first mek she tell me wetin d emergency be. I first tank her as she say mek we sit down, because dis emergency no be here.

Na so we all sit down and she come start to talk.

Mrs D come clear her throat before start to talk. She say d emergency be say vibrating ring dey inside her belle wey she and her husband don try to remove but dem no fit, and anytime wey she open her mouth d tin dey shock her like electric.

D first tin wey enter my mind na, wetin be vibrating ring, and how e come enter her belle?

But e be like say Mrs D understand my confusion, because she come calm down to explain.

She say her husband and her just marry. So, dem dey nack well well. As dem dey nack, sometimes dem dey use nacking instruments to make d nacking super sweet.

Nacking instrument like vibrator for woman and vibrating ring for men na im dem dey use. Dem say dem dey take am spice dem nacking.

Today, Mrs D say she wan do experiment, say instead of d vibrator for woman, she wan try d vibrating ring for man. Say instead of her husband to wear d vibrating ring, she go put am inside her abuna make e dey vibrate inside when dem dey nack.

She say d nacking come sweet pass before. Dem come forget say too much sweet thing dey run belle.

As d nacking dey sweet, dem forget say pepper na spice too, but you go still take sense put am for food.

Dem forget careful and come dey hala dey go from journey to journey as d nacking dey carry.

After dem don come down from Mount Nack, na dere problem come start. Mr D don use im cassava push d vibrating ring to point of no return.

To bring am out come tough pass WAEC and NECO exams combined. Mrs D put her finger with her long nail, e no work, dem use pencil, e no work. Dem wan use water but dem stop so d tin no go shock Mrs D too much for her abuna.

Mr D come even suggest say mek dem use fish hook to fish am out, but Mrs D shout ‘God forbid!’. Say because Mr D grand father be fisherman, na im him wan use her abuna do fishing practice.

Dat is why dem come decide to come ER. Dem say d one wey surprise dem be say d tin dey allvibrate inside d Abuna like say e get him own mind. Mr D say since him finish work, d tin no gree stop.

After I do don listen finish, I come know wetin to do: I tell Mrs D to get up, remove her cloth kpatakpata, come liedown on top of d bed wey I dey take examin patient. I tell her to open her leg like woman wey wan born pickin. I come use instrument wey we dey call forcep take remove the stubborn vibrating ring.

As soon as the vibrating ring comot, d vibration come stop.

D lesson wey we suppose learn for dis matter be say mek we learn to use something d way d people wey make d tin say mek we use am.

Dis na because dem don do experiment for d tin and know wetin dey. Wen you come do ya own experiment from d one dem don do already, na wahala be dat.