As E Dey Sweet…! 

My pipul Happy New Year.

I greet una specially dis year. I hope say una go take care of una self well well, so dat una no go come ER.

Wetin make I dey bring una Tori for ER na sake of say una must be careful for wetin concern ona health. As I share wetin dey happen for ER, ona go learn lesson and make sure ona no make d same mistake wey dey bring pipul to ER.

Today ER case start as me and my officer dey go round dey look at one case wey come. We don treat dis case of diarrhea and say mek we check wen to discharge am.

One man and woman come enter. Wen d two of dem enter, na d man dey shout. Him dey shout say him get pain for him table tennis ball area.

Him say him table tennis ball wey attach to him bulala dey pain am and say e don swell like lawn tennis ball.

I lay am down for bed come ask am wetin happen.

Him say him name na Mr Z and him girlfriend na Ms M, and sey him love d girlfriend and two of dem dey nack well well.

D tin dey sweet dem well well, and sey dem even get dia own song for nacking, wey be, “as e dey sweet us, e dey sweet us”.

I come ask am wetin come happen na?

Him say d girlfriend father bin sick so she take leave go take care of am for one week. After her father recover, na him she come see am for house.

So, dem come do long time no see. As soon as him see her, him brain knock, him bulala take over. D bulala stand like person wey dey for state assembly.

Bulala dey control am, sey h no waste time to nack her becos delay is dangerous in dis kind of mata.

So, him take her straight to d bedroom go nack wetin him call ‘welcome back’. As dem go bathroom to baf, him nack again for bathroom, wetin him call ‘in and out washing’.

After d bathroom, Ms M come go kitchen to prepare dinner. As she dey prepare dinner, him nack anoda one wey him call ‘appetizer’ for kitchen.

As dem eat finish, dem come go sitting room to watch TV. Na for dere him nack wetin him call ‘Now da day is over’.

Dem come go sleep, so for early morning, him nack ‘last last na everybody go chop breakfast’.

As him nack d breakfast finish, na im d balls wey tie to him bulala come begin to pain am.

Him come say mek him relax small weda d pain go go. After sometime, d pain dey increase so him take ice blocks for fridge to take cool him balls.

Na im him notice say him small table tennis balls don increase to lawn tennis balls size. To waka sef him no come fit.

Him come get bow-leg by force by force. Na wrapper him come dey tie. As him continue to use ice block d pain no go and him blokos dey swell. So him girlfriend come say mek dem go Emergency Room.

So, I remove him trouser come look at d bulala area. I come see say d tin don swell well well. As I touch am, d man shout from d pain.

I tell d two of dem say e be like say him testicle don twist becos of d too much nacking wey him do.

Nacking 5 times within 24 hours don turn d testicles dem neck. D twist come cut off blood supply to d testicles.

Him come ask wetin I go do to help am. I tell am say we go do scan to confirm d testicular torsion. After dat we go perform surgery to cut d thing off.

Him shout ‘Eja pu eeeee !!!!. E mean say him no go fit borne?. I say I no mean so becos him come on time we no go cut him testicle.

If testicular pain dey happen to person, time dey very important. If any delay happen, e dey dangerous because as blood no flow to d testicle, d testicle go die. No more power to borne.

Luckily for Mr Z , him girlfriend help am come ER in time.

The lesson here be say too much of anytin dey purge. E sweet e sweet no mean say you go chop am finish one time. Keep some for anoda time.

Sometime, too much of nacking dey give heart attack. So, my country pipul, take am easy, chop small small, nack small small.

Until next week, I wish una prosperous New Year again.